


There's No Choice (Not Today)

by acciojoshler



Category: BLURRYFACE - Twenty One Pilots (Album), Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Other, Suicide, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 14:53:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7319608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acciojoshler/pseuds/acciojoshler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is clearly a fan-fiction based on the lyrics of Not Today by twenty one pilots.<br/>Also, please forgive me if I have any grammar mistakes, English isn't my native language.</p>
    </blockquote>





	There's No Choice (Not Today)

**Author's Note:**

> This is clearly a fan-fiction based on the lyrics of Not Today by twenty one pilots.  
> Also, please forgive me if I have any grammar mistakes, English isn't my native language.

As long as Josh could remember himself, Tyler was always there. He lived right across the street and he would climb to Josh's window when he wasn't feeling okay, and that happened a lot. See, Tyler was almost always sad but somehow managed to make Josh happy. That's why Josh considered him his best friend. Josh loved Tyler more than anyone and he wanted him to be okay. He loved him even more than his own parents, who never seemed to understand or care about Josh. Josh hated his own house. When his dad started drinking he knew what was coming after. Tyler was his only escape. Josh thought Tyler was doing better because he hasn’t climbed in his room for the past two weeks. But not today.

Josh woke up with Tyler's face only inches from his. Normally he would jump at this sight but he was used to it.

Tears were streaming down on Tyler's face. He was staring at Josh and the moment he opened his eyes Tyler said "Zack left."

Josh sat up, looking confused to match his thoughts. "What do you mean he left?"

Tyler sat next to Josh on his bed, placing his head inside his palms. "I mean h- he _left_. He got up in the middle of the night and left. I don't think he's ever coming back." his voice cracking at the few last words, "And he didn't take me with him."

Josh was relieved that his best friend was still here, of course, but he wouldn't tell him that. He pulled Tyler closer to his body and hugged him. "It's okay Tyler," he said in his soft voice, trying to sound comforting "I'll never leave you."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A month passed. Tyler had stopped climbing in Josh's room but Josh visited him every day.

Josh knew that Tyler was broken and hurt. He was so mad at Zack who left his brother in this state. Especially after their dad left them almost the same way Zack did. But then again, Zack was broken too.

It was hard for Josh to leave his house. He didn't like the outside world. Or to put it better, he didn't like the people. His only friend and the only person he ever liked was Tyler.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

He knocked the door. Tyler's mom opened it. Josh looked kind of confused because it was Tyler who always greeted him. His mom was staring at Josh, looking rather sad and angry but not at him.

Josh gave her a weak smile. "Where is he?"

"He won't come out of the attic. He's been there since yesterday when you left." said sighing at the last words.

Josh was trying to think like he was in Tyler's mind. What's gotten into him? Tyler's mom then stepped aside so that Josh could come in.

"Maybe you can get him out." she said with a hint of hope in her voice.

Josh didn't need her to show him the way, he knew this house like it was his own. He stopped at the hall leading to the kitchen and looked at ceiling. There was the door. He pulled the string hanging from there and a ladder came to view. He climbed it and there he was.

The ceiling was too high for an attic. Tyler had split the room in two. On one side were probably stuff of the family that had been there before Tyler. On the other side there was an old, brown couch, a small desk on the far left corner with a bunch of Tyler's drawings on it. There was also a piano on the right corner opposite of the desk. In between the desk and the piano, was a big window, covered with heavy, red velvet curtains. Then Josh's eyes lowered, spotting a mattress on the floor with someone curled up on it.

Josh sat on his knees next to Tyler and gently patted his back. Tyler turned around and gave Josh a smile. "You're here" he said in his sleepy voice.

Josh smiled back. "Of course I am."

He got up and sat on the couch and kept his eyes on Tyler. Seconds later Tyler was sitting next to him.

"Why'd you move up here?" Josh asked.

Tyler's eyes darkened and his smile was long gone. "I couldn't stand the silence."

Josh looked at him thinking what that meant, because there was complete silence in this room too.

"He's back you know." he heard Tyler saying after a long moment.

Josh stared at him. "Who's back? Zack?"

"No," Tyler said shaking his head, "that man, in my dreams. Zack left and now I'm afraid of everything again."

Josh knew too well what that meant.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Tyler was always sad, as long as Josh could remember him. Ever since his dad left, he got worse and now that Zack left too… But he never told Josh the real reason, what had started it. Josh only knew that Tyler was terrified of the future and over thought everything.

"You need to face your fears Tyler" Josh said taking his best friend's hand.

Tyler looked at him, fear visible in his eyes. "That man has a face. Although I can't remember it well. It's kind of blurry.."

"I think he'd be less scary if you gave him a name." Josh paused then, thinking of what would be the perfect name. He had an idea. He searched Tyler's eyes and paused again. He snapped out of it and said "What about Blurryface?"

Tyler looked back at him. Josh thought he looked angry for a moment. But Tyler lowered his gaze and he said almost in a whisper "Yeah, that probably sums him up."

They sat there for a long time. Neither of them said anything. Not even when Josh heard sniffs coming from Tyler. The sun was already down and Josh thought it was time to go to his house.

"Tyler?" he said finally breaking the silence.

"Hm?"

"What happened to you?" he paused, waiting for the answer but after a few seconds he said "You know... Back then..." he took Tyler's hand again.

Tyler looked at him, almost smiling. "Not today, Josh."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A few weeks had passed. Nothing had changed. No sign of Zack, Tyler still in the attic. Josh kept visiting him of course. Most of the time they were just sitting in silence, keeping company at each other. Besides, Josh needed Tyler as much as Tyler needed him. Every day, before leaving, he asked the same question and always got the same answer. "Not today". He was getting tired of hearing that but he was patient for his best friend.

Today Tyler was different. He was much more talkative and kept touching his neck, as if he was suffocating. They were laying on the mattress.

"You know, I was born in this room."

Josh turned his head and looked at him. "You never told me that."

“Yup, mom didn’t want to go to the hospital.”

“How come?”

“I think she thought this was my home.”

"Why don't you come out Tyler? You know I don't like the outside but you always make it seem a little better."

Josh saw that Tyler's cheeks turned pink.

Silence again.

"I want to change the world," said Tyler after a little while, staring at the ceiling with a smirk on his face. "but I think me and the world are better off if I stay in here." the smirk faded.

"What happened to you Tyler?"

"Not today."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"I think Blurryface is getting stronger," Tyler said, sounding more scared than ever, "he's not only in my dreams anymore. He..." he paused and looked straight into Josh's eyes "he talks to me. Right now."

Josh wished he could beat the shit out of Blurryface for making his best friend feeling terrified. He was almost as scared as Tyler was. He grabbed Tyler's hands and said "Focus on my voice Tyler, try not to hear him."

But Tyler didn't listen. He got up and went to the piano. He started playing a beautiful melody.

"What happened to you Tyler?"

"Not today."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Then, everything changed. Josh had a panic attack when his dad raised his hand to hit him.

Josh ran to Tyler's house and climbed the ladder as fast as he could.

"Tyl-" he started saying when he looked around, his mouth hanging open.

Tyler had filled the room with the same drawing. A black figure, almost looking as if it was made of smoke, with those creepy red eyes.

Josh lowered his gaze and spotted Tyler on the floor, next to the desk. He had his hands in his ears and he was sobbing.

Josh sat down next to him but he couldn't do anything, he was crying too. He just needed Tyler.

"Please Tyler, please stop crying! I need you right now!" his voice came out higher than he expected.

But Tyler was rocking his body back and forth, his hands still in his ears and he didn't even laid an eye on Josh.

Josh was desperate. The panic begun to fill his chest again. _He_ needed his best friend this time. _He_ was the one who needed comfort. He was now yelling at Tyler to listen to him. He couldn't take it anymore.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU TYLER? DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME **NOT TODAY**! I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND! WHY DO YOU WASTE ALL THIS TIME TRYING TO RUN FROM ME?"

At this words, Tyler stopped crying, stopped rocking his body. He removed his hands from his ears and looked at Josh. His eyes and expression were blank.

"Why do you waste all this time trying to get to me?"

Josh had enough.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND AND THAT'S WHAT BEST FRIENDS DO!"

Tyler got up and went to his piano. He started playing the same melody.

Josh closed his eyes trying to calm himself. The music helped too. Well, Tyler's music helped.

Guilt started rising inside him. Sure, he needed Tyler but Tyler needed him too. “His father and brother left him for God’s sake” said a small voice inside his mind.

Josh went and sat next to him. "I'm sorry." he said looking at Tyler but he kept playing. "I was too upset. My dad was drunk again an- "

"I want to go home." Tyler said still not looking at Josh.

"What do you mean?" Josh was confused again. "You are home."

Tyler stopped playing. Then, in a voice that was a little less than a whisper, he said "Home is a person."

Josh didn't hear him. "Say that again?"

Tyler was looking at Josh now. His eyes blank and bloodshot. "Home is a person," he said now more confident, "not a place."

Josh thought about it for a minute. His house never felt like a home to him. Home is _where_ or with _whom_ you feel like you can be yourself. He nodded in agreement. Then he smiled. "You're my home, Tyler."

He regretted it almost as fast as he had said it. Tyler was now on top of him on the floor. His eyes looked like he was going crazy, like he was ready to tear Josh apart. Then, Tyler's face looked terrified. He curled up his body on the floor next to Josh and started sobbing again and muttering.

Josh was petrified. He caught phrases of Tyler's muttering, some of them were "I'm sorry" and "I'm out of my mind".

Tyler was right. Blurryface is getting stronger, Josh thought. It wasn’t the first time that Tyler seemed like he wasn’t in his mind anymore. He wanted to hold Tyler, to tell him that it was going to be okay. But instead, he left. He ran back to his house.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

He spent the next few days arguing with himself. He wanted to visit Tyler but his brain kept saying "not today". He was so sick of that phrase.

After two weeks, he decided to ignore his brain that was now screaming "NOT TODAY!" and went to Tyler's house.

Tyler was sleeping on the mattress. The red velvet curtain was on the floor, looking as if some animal had tore it. The sunlight coming from the big window was now filling the whole room, making the drawings of Blurryface looking less scary.

Josh was sitting on the couch, staring at Tyler. He loved him so much, he thought. He started imagining scenarios where he and Tyler were happy. Blurryface-free, being _home_. He wanted to wake him up, but the words seemed to have stuck in his throat.

Then he heard Tyler talking in his sleep. "Tore the curtains", "Make a sound", "Open the window".

Josh decided to wake him up because he thought he was dreaming of Blurryface again.

Tyler opened his eyes and looked at Josh. There was a second of happiness in Tyler's eyes. He hugged Josh so tightly, Josh couldn't breathe. But he hugged his best friend back.

Both of them kept muttering "I'm sorry".

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Josh stayed there for the night. They slept together on the mattress. It was kind of small and uncomfortable but he thought it was the best sleep he had in years.

Tyler seemed to think the same, because he was smiling when he woke up.

"Please don't go" said Tyler suddenly. Josh hasn't even thought about leaving.

Tyler got up and went to his piano once again. The same old melody but this time, he started singing. Josh was staring at him as if Tyler was an angel. He thought his voice was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

Tyler kept his song going. "I'm a goner, somebody catch my breath..."

"Tyler, tell me what happened to you." said Josh nervously.

Tyler stopped playing and singing at once. He got up and started pacing.

"Make a sound." he said and stopped in front of Josh.

Josh sat up on the mattress. "Huh?"

"Make a sound. Open the window."

Josh felt like he had heard these phrases before but he couldn't remember clearly. Not knowing what Tyler meant, he got up and opened the window.

Tyler went and stood in front of it. The sunlight washed over him. Josh could see clearly now the dark circles under Tyler's eyes.

"I want to go home." he said again.

Josh looked at him, almost sad, hoping to hear his name. "Who is your home?"

Tyler didn't answer this question. Instead he answered another question that has been bothering Josh.

"When I was 7, I started dreaming about him. At first I thought he was just a friend because that's what he told me." he paused. He wasn't looking at Josh. He was looking outside, at the sky. "I never told anyone about him except my dad because we were always close. He was my home."

This was the first time Josh had heard Tyler talking about his dad. Then it hit him: why did Tyler’s dad left?

Tyler kept telling his story. "The man in my dreams grew stronger as I grew older. I was scared. After a while, my dad got sick of me and the man. He told me I was weak. That I didn’t deserve his love anymore. That I didn’t deserve to have a proper family. I didn’t know what to do, I was only a kid!” his voice started cracking. “He started hitting me every time he got the chance, every time we were left alone, in this room. Then, when I was 12, I thought, this can’t be right. My dad isn’t my home. I couldn’t take it anymore so I told Zack. Obviously he told mom and she kicked my dad out… After that, Zack took care of me and I _knew,_ he was my home. So that's what happened to me." he paused and looked at Josh. "You feel sorry for me now?" said in an angry voice. "The poor old Tyler, his dad was a bad man and his brother left him and then committed suicide!" said now in a mocking way.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Josh jumped back. "Zack is dead?"

 

Tyler was crying now. “They called us a week ago and told us, when you wouldn’t come. I was all alone.”

 

Josh was feeling more guilty than ever now.

Tyler laughed. Josh had never heard him laughing like that before.

"HE WAS MY HOME! HE WENT AND KILLED HIMSELF! AND HE LEFT ME WITH BLURRYFACE!" Tyler breathed heavily.

Josh's temper started rising again, all guilt disappearing. "What about me? I've been here this whole damn time! And I never hurt you. I never left you. AND I NEVER WILL!" he screamed the last words.

Tyler's breathing steadied now. He was looking more calm. He looked at Josh and said "I love you," he paused, "but I have to go home."

Josh was even angrier now. He wanted to grab Tyler and shake him. Show him that he is his home. "Tyler can't you see?" said now sounding hurt. "I am your home. Please, don’t do this to me."

Tyler smiled wider "Please Josh. I need you to understand. See, you’re only a room of my home, but it’s incomplete. I have to go home. There's no choice."

And before Josh could react, Tyler jumped.

Josh watched as his home was flying away.

He screamed.

And screamed.

And screamed.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"There's no choice!" his brain kept shouting.

There's no choice.

Josh was homeless. He was feeling naked. He couldn't stand living in his own skin.

A little voice that he could swear it was Tyler's, kept whispering "not today" in his mind.

"There's no choice!" Josh screamed back at the voice.

He was laying on Tyler's mattress as he did for the last two months.

Staring at the window.

"There's no choice." he whispered.

He got up, ignoring Tyler's voice telling him "not today".

He tore the curtain.

"There's no choice..."

He opened the window.

"I have to go home."

 


End file.
